Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
