so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
