Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
