we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
