TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize