i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i think im in europe. pls send help
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
