What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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