I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Houston, we have a blender
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Who died my cat blue again?
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