I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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