i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
