...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
