We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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