D3 body, D1 cock
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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