I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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