Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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