Can Purell be used as lube?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
