Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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