is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
