Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
