Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
