I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
