How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
