As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
