you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
