I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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