Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
