I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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