if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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