fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Randomize
