We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
