When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again