Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos