so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
