Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was