what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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