Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize