just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
