Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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