You can't motorboat a personality
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
