I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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