WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
