You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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