Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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