I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
