i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
