Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
