best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
