my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
