Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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