no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
