I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
