i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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