just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
