My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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