She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
