What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
