I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
