The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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