There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
