You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
