yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
