"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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