I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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