Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
